First, You've Got to Get There

It is widely acknowledged that the missionary lifestyle is not an easy one. Historically this was reinforced by things like missionaries packing their belongings in coffins when traveling to their ministry fields, knowing there was a good chance they'd be returning in them. Today the task is less dangerous in that sense (in most parts of the world), though it is arguably somewhat more complicated.

Cardboard boxes don't have quite the symbolic effect...

What is less commonly known is that one of the most difficult parts of many missionaries' work is getting onto the field in the first place. Ironically, one part that many people seem to consider the most difficult -actually deciding to go- was for me the easiest. God made it clear He wanted me to go; I could but say yes or no. (And saying "no" to God is not recommended.) Having said yes, I began to discover the truth that the difficulties didn't start once I was "over there," but began to immediately present themselves.

For many difficult tasks, it is possible to simply power through them. If asked to roll a heavy log up a hill, most people could do it if they had to. Simply dig down and refuse to quit, push as hard as you can, and get it up to the top by any way possible. Or for less difficult but longer and more boring tasks, like a pile of paperwork, one simply plods forward until eventually the whole thing is done. Unpleasant, but eventually overcome.

For getting onto the field, I found the complexity of the task to be that it's neither a matter of simply plowing ahead through any difficulty that arises, or waiting it out, but of accomplishing a number of things simultaneously, with a sort of default timer ticking beyond which people will begin to lose faith in either your calling or abilities. Going back to the log example, imagine being told to roll the log up the hill, within a certain time frame, and also to not crush any of the numerous wildflowers growing on the hill. Suddenly pushing with all your might is not an option. You are not allowed to "try as hard as you can," in the straightforward sense, and "try harder" is not an effective strategy. Nor can you do this task in small chunks with nice breaks in between; if pushed up only partway, the log will roll back down. (Thank God, sometimes He chocks the log for you, and moments of rest are supplied when He knows they are necessary.)

I did not write this to complain! God has called all of us to participate in spreading His kingdom to every part of the world, and He has given me a love for the field to which He is calling me. The labor in this sense is joyful. But I am trying to define the difficulty of a task which can't simply be pushed through, as it depends on the cooperation of volunteers on both an individual and a church level, nor always done in a logical step-by-step fashion, as the "next step" is often a preparation for something coming much later or a setback which forces one to rely on God and wait for Him to reveal a new and unexpected opportunity in another direction.

If only it were this straightforward!

In other words, the dance to the missions field is not so much "three steps forward, two steps back," as "three steps forward, five steps diagonally back to the left, a big jump forward landing on one foot, hopping there while waiting for a place to put the other one, sliding sideways, another step forward, two steps back, cha cha cha," etc. It's learning to trust God to provide the way forward through unfamiliar territory at the very time when other people begin to expect familiar-looking progress in exchange for their trust.

And it's a difficult thing for missionaries to be learning how to move along God's perfect but unpredictable path while many spectators expect them to be moving in the most productive, sensible, and competent direction (as an engineer by trade, this indeed makes the most sense by default, so I do fully understand this way of thinking). Put another way, it's like crossing a major street. People expect you to use the crosswalk in an inspirational sort of way, while it feels much more like God is calling you to play Simon Says in the heavy traffic.

If I can be very straightforward for a moment, it can be rather frustrating to be criticized from time to time by people who would themselves never dream of surrendering all hopes of a career and stable future in the normal sense, because of Very Important Reasons which any reasonable person would see prevent it from being an option for them. (Nevermind those reasons might have just as equally applied to you as well.) They expect you to overcome your unfamiliar difficulties as they overcome their familiar ones, and can adopt the attitude of making sure you "measure up," that support money is not being wasted on you. Unfortunately, this kind of judgmental scrutiny, while not helpful, is also not entirely unfounded. It must be recognized that there are career missionaries who are simply not up to the task, or who have gone onto the field for reasons entirely other than a calling or obedience to the Great Commission, or who spend their support money wastefully and accomplish little in their fields or even do great damage through willful sin. This is sadly the reality, and I believe accountability for missionaries is entirely appropriate. Exactly what form this could take in the sense of measurable goals is a great question which merits further discussion, but the willingness of someone to sacrifice what life they had to pursue God's call should perhaps merit good faith at the outset until proven otherwise, and indeed in most cases and churches it seems to do so.

But of course while having spiritual gifts which are appropriate to the task, cross-cultural missionaries have no special dispensation of knowledge or abilities from God beyond any other believer. God always supplies what is necessary to accomplish what He has called us to do, and so we are just servants of the Kingdom who have been called to exchange familiar neighborhoods for unfamiliar ones. And while the calling is sure (The Great Commission was not a suggestion), we're not always sure the best way to go about doing it. But the passion God has placed in me for His glory among the Taiwanese people compels me forward. That burning fire, lit by the Spirit, continues through the waves of spiritual opposition and temptation, the dark mists of disappointment or confusion about what to do next, or the storms of hardship and setbacks.

"Taiwan is still the only major Han Chinese population in the world
where a significant spiritual breakthrough has not occurred." Operation World

I have been very blessed to have many people trust me, even some people who are not naturally the trusting sort. I feel the weight of this trust very acutely, and pray that I will never betray it, the more so as I have personally been a witness to the grievous results of such downfalls. Yet I know that the ability to merit that trust is not in myself, but in the God who sustains me. He has promised to continue to do so; my task is to walk in obedience and communion with Him, down this strange road which has led through Huntsville, and Texas, and across the Pacific. May He grant the strength to do so, and if you have read this far, I would appreciate your prayers as well.

(And feel free to comment with any of your own prayer requests. I'm always happy to lift them up. It is becoming increasingly obvious to me that sometimes our insurmountable obstacles are not due to a lack of strategy, but a lack of time spent demonstrating our dependence on God through prayer.)