"No Other Gods before Me" vs. "It's Safer to Believe them All"

(The Puzzle of Religion Pluralism in Taiwan)

Dragon Mountain (Longshan) Temple in Taipei

I was reminded recently of one of the difficulties in sharing the gospel in Taiwan. A friend invited me to eat dinner with her family, who were very happy to have a missionary over. They are not believers, but the mother told me "the world is a more beautiful place because of people like you." She then claimed proudly that Taiwanese people love diversity and can respect any kind of thinking or religion or worldview.

In the context of our conversation, her claim was more or less accurate. In the West when you share the gospel outside of a relational context (and sometimes even inside one) with another Westerner, the person with whom you are speaking typically knows that you are making a truth claim that demands a decision on their part. They may become defensive or even angry because they know you are communicating that their current status is unacceptable and wrong, and they need to accept the truth you are presenting to them. All too often, no matter what we say, what nonbelievers hear is "you are broken... and I'm here to fix you."

In Taiwan, this is much less the case. Especially young people are interested to hear what you believe, if they think you are an interesting person (normally Americans are in this category by default), and will thank you for sharing something with them that is so meaningful to you. But to them your sharing confers no responsibility on their part whatsoever; you're just discussing one belief system in the spectrum of beliefs that make up society. You might get more or less the same reaction talking about how important it is for us all to do our part to protect the environment, or the importance of spreading literacy in developing countries.

I recall a restaurant owner in Kaohsiung one year who, after finding out we were a short term missions team, happily gave us a discount for our meal, explaining that he gave the largest discount to Buddhist monks, the second largest discount to Christian missionaries, and also a discount to students who were doing their mandatory year of military service.

If all religions are basically good and help their adherents to be better people, it's an entirely reasonable and morally upright attitude, and indeed that is how the world thinks. If one religion is true and the others false, however, it's wishful thinking, hiding behind pleasantries because the implications of having to sort through what is true and what is false on one's own are too daunting.

"A Name-Unknown Diety"
Shrine to an unknown god in Keelung

Pluralistic yet Traditional

 

So Taiwan is something like a truly pluralistic society, rare in this world, and for adults already established in traditional beliefs it can be hard to get anywhere until people find themselves in truly despairing circumstances and reach outside themselves for help. (By contrast younger generations of Taiwanese increasingly don't really believe traditional religion at all, they participate in it purely as a family activity, and are much more open to a message of God's unconditional love; more and more of them are from broken families and have only received very conditional love at best)

Often, people come to Christ in Taiwan due to the help and support of Christian friends in a time of crisis in their life, after which they are willing to begin going to church and eventually believe. Baptism, however, the symbolic step which has the effect of officially separating them from Chinese traditional religion, doesn't come until years later, when they feel confident enough to take that step, knowing it may lead to ostracization and fighting within their family. Some people won't do it until after their parents have passed away.

This may seem like a contradiction: how can a people be so pluralistic, yet the decision to become a Christian cause such problems within a family?

The answer is largely in how different Christianity is from a traditional/folk religion. In Chinese traditional religion, it is not at all important what you "believe in your heart" about the gods and spirits; people don't even think in those terms. The gods did not create you (there is a creation account, but that's largely irrelevant and the original creator god is not accessible to people), nor do they love you. The important thing is that you do X, Y, and Z, where X are typically actions that involve protection from evil spirits and their influence, Y are actions that bring yourself and by extension your family or business blessings and prosperity, and Z are actions that promote family and community connectedness and honor spirituals connection to the past.

There is also a saying in Taiwan, "it's better to believe than not," which basically means that belief is better and safer than doubt, since while no one is quite sure whether the host of gods and spirits of the Chinese pantheon (and others) exist in reality or not, it's safer to act as if they do, rather than risk the disfavor of the unseen. It's more or less the polytheistic version of Pascal's Wager.

So the problem with Christianity in a Taiwanese family is not at all that you believe there is a Creator God, that you believe Jesus can purify you from your sins by His sacrifice and save your soul from eternal punishment, etc. Even the Trinity is no problem; in Asia religions are supposed to be mystical and occasionally not make sense in human terms. I haven't met a single person in Taiwan who rejected Christianity on logical or argumentative grounds that did not at the same time reject all religions in general in favor of secular scientism.

Dragon Mountain (Longshan) Temple in Taipei

There's No Fun in Dysfunction in Taiwan

The problem here is the fear that, once you believe another God ('The Western God,' as is all too often the perception here), you will stop "being a good Taiwanese family member." You will stop observing the proper safeguards against evil and misfortune ("Sure, maybe your god will protect you," the conversation would go, "but what about the rest of us? It's your responsibility to join in the ceremonies on our behalf."), you will stop appealing to the gods for luck and prosperity, which for the majority of Asian families is not an individualistic affair- your own prosperity affects your family and others-, but most importantly, and this is the sticky point for most families, you will not observe the proper rituals together with the rest of your family for your ancestors after they die.

Imagine a large and close American family who would call themselves Christians but aren't too serious about it. Suddenly one of the aunts has "an experience" while on a trip to the Himalayas and wants to convert to Hinduism. It's a bit awkward, and there is some disapproving gossip, but if she doesn't start acting too weird no one wants to openly complain. But let us say she then refuses to join the family for Christmas because she doesn't believe in celebrating Christian holidays anymore, and on top of that won't attend the funeral of beloved Grandpa Joe unless she's allowed to offer rice balls on his coffin to appease his restless spirit, and begins inviting the kids in the family to go down to the Monkey temple with her, meet her guru, and present offerings to Shiva.


This situation might be unacceptable to many families by itself. Now imagine after all that, the only son of one of the more prominent couples in the family now professes a desire to become Hindu as well. You can imagine that it is a rare family who would react happily to this news, let alone the mother and father, who now imagine Christmases with their only child refusing to come home, and perhaps eventually no flowers being placed at their graves, but rice balls offered up in Hindu ceremonies, and who knows what else.

For a more traditional Taiwanese family, which is still the default here, that's a reasonable picture of what it feels like to them when family members start becoming Christians. (It's even stronger than in the example because in Chinese culture your parents have much more input into and control over your life than in the West, even into adulthood, and expect you to worship them after they die just as they had to worship their parents), Nearly all cultures place a strong emphasis on holidays/times of family gathering and the proper way to handle a death in the family. Disturbing these meaningful observances due to a 'foreign religion' will not be looked upon favorably.

Dragon Mountain (Longshan) Temple in Taipei

The solution for many Taiwanese Christians is to demonstrate that they are indeed still part of the family, and that Christ and the Church are purifying and not corrupting influences in their life. That can be easy in very open-minded families who aren't picky about the traditional rituals or have already stopped practicing some of them, or very difficult in families who are very traditional or have members with religious responsibilities. For my friend mentioned at the beginning, she is a believer but her parents believe children should be able to choose their own religion. That is increasingly common in Taiwan, yet those holidays and worship of deceased family members are often still problem points. It seems like a small thing to ask for the family, who don't worship idols because the gods they represent are worthy of worship, but in hopes to get favor/assistance/protection from them in exchange for the worship. The idea that there could be a transcendent God, a Most High God whom is the only God worthy of worship and indeed the only God who can rightly be worshiped, is more or less totally absent from polytheistic religions. (Communicating that concept is an essential part of the pre-evangelism process in Taiwan; sometimes people think they can just add Jesus to their personal pantheon and if he's a nice god he'll get along with the rest ok. As Westerners we do this with our schedules instead.)

Sometimes it takes a very bold believer to be the first; to be willing to endure their family's criticism and shaming and appear to be a "wayward son/daughter" in order to follow God. Sometimes their living testimony then shines in such a way that the family changes their mind about the faith, and may even look favorably upon other young members becoming Christians. That's not something we can make happen as missionaries, it takes courage and faith on the part of local believers. But we can pray for them, encourage them, and work alongside local churches to help them function in a healthy way, where young believers can be trained in sound doctrine and grow in their walk with God and older believers can set an example in faith and good works.

Looking Forward:

In the future, things may actually improve. There are some interesting parallels with America here. Fewer and fewer Taiwanese are choosing to follow traditional religion strictly, and the rapid loss of traditional morality is impacting Taiwanese culture in a negative way, similar to what has occurred in the United States, at the same time as the economy has gone from formerly booming to stagnant (again, similar to the United States.) And the people I've talked to seem to feel the same way about the situation as do conservative-to-moderate Americans: uneasy at what seems to be a downward spiral for the culture into disorder and moral decay, hoping for answers and a way out of this mess but not too optimistic about future prospects.

Taiwan's birthrate has plummeted, now the lowest in the world. Divorce rates have rapidly increased, and stable, traditional family units, long considered the foundation of Chinese culture, are increasingly disappearing

Whereas in rapidly post-christian America we have seen a general turning away from the Church as the societal default, in Taiwan's pluralistic culture the historical default is not Christianity but Chinese traditional religion (Sometimes inaccurately referred to as Buddhism, with which it actually exists in paradoxical but comfortable parallel. Thus is religion in East Asia). If the Christian churches are seen as a stabilizing influence on society and a source of moral goodness, they can become an increasingly acceptable option for Taiwanese, who already seem largely more concerned that their children at least be decent people than that they follow traditional religion. It's the perfect time for outreach and for churches to demonstrate the love of Christ and the unshakeable wisdom of the truth of scripture. (And not the false promises of the prosperity gospel which itself is merely monotheistic idolatry)

When Doubts Attack: Attack Back

                 Or, the Irrationality of Doubt when God's Presence is with Us.

As I continue on in my walk with God and journey of faith through this life, I find that I often have questions. I don't mean questions about the basic tenets and principles of the faith, although I do have those kinds of questions from time to time, usually in a curious way. I am relentlessly curious, so I will investigate nearly anything from different perspectives to see what it looks like.

But with regard to those more basic questions, over and over again I've tested the core tenets of Christianity, based on my ongoing experiences and taking into account criticisms both new and old that I've encountered, and found that they hold together without budging. Given the existence of a Creator God, the faith set forth in Scripture follows, and no other religion or holy writings could stand up to the rigorous assaults withstood by the Church for centuries now.

As Christians we can be reluctant to talk about doubt, since to acknowledge that sometimes we consider the truth of what we believe as something that could potentially be untrue sounds like we're denying our faith.
But doubt is not the same as denial, doubt is a testing of our faith, and such tests are necessary to strengthen it. The question is whether we will pass the test with stronger faith, or become doubters, our faith weak, remaining mired in uncertainty. James had strong words for people who chose the second option...

The questioning and uncertain thought or feeling that pops into your mind is not yet sin; what you do with it might be sin, or might instead be a glorious victory. If we need more faith, God is willing to provide it, but the biblical conception of faith is an active reaching out to God, not a passive hunger strike. Sometimes we must find ourselves crying out to God along with the man in Mark 9: "Lord I believe, help my unbelief!"

The Irrationality of Doubt

When I do get those doubting sorts of moments, lately they are of that vaguely anxious "but what if 'all this' isn't true?" variety. Interestingly, that sort of doubt is the least able to stand up to logical inquiry. Nonbelievers (in the world of Western thought) would have you believe that Christianity is not rational or logical, and, recently and irrelevantly, that is has been made unnecessary by "Science," as if the laws of physics would be a challenge to or replacement for the One who set them up and provided the energy to have any matter to begin with.  ("Bless me, what do they teach them at these schools...")

It's the opposite, actually: given the presuppositions from which Christianity begins, everything proceeds in quite a logical and orderly fashion. So for these vaguely anxious sorts of doubts, simply asking "Can you be more specific? Which part isn't true exactly? What alternative truth claim is being suggested here?" often dispels it outright without it even bothering to explain itself. Very, very few doubts stand up to any vigourous inquiries about a) content, and b) motive.

So for me at this point, I can say that doubt is inherently irrational. I know the depth and truth of scripture more than I did earlier in my life, and have a more clear understanding of how Christianity all holds together, and perceive that the reality of the world as understood through Scripture is indeed the inevitable conclusion to which an honest and informed look at reality would drive one (what Paul is talking about in Romans 1). Yes, the more I've learned about Scripture and the history of doctrine and our faith the more questions I have had, but my curiosity has been joyously satisfied by the truth of God's word and the miracle of His church and His presence.

Also, my faith has been extended over any question marks that remain for me (and there always are, for now we see in a mirror dimly), not primarily due to answered questions, but because I have experienced over and over again God's gracious intervention in my life. Lack of total knowledge about the story can't make me doubt the author when I've met Him, and He is not passive. I have some pretty cool stories... crazy things have happened exactly when they need to happen.

And that is where a believer and a non-believer go in totally opposite directions: when some crazy, unlikely thing that seems like supernatural intervention occurs, the believer states that given God, the simplest explanation is that He did this, since this sort of thing doesn't happen by accident. The non-believer states that given no God, the only possible explanation is that sometimes crazy coincidences happen by accident, or maybe that there's no such thing as 'accident' or 'miracle,' everything just happens, and it's your own confirmation bias making you think it's for your own benefit or some other purpose.

But they're the ones that are trapped. While we can look a crazy, wonderful miracle in the face and say "This cannot happen naturally, God did this," they must always either deny that it occurred, concoct an explanation so unlikely that the only excuse for it is "well it happened, and there's no God, so this must be how it happened," or pull out the tiresome confirmation bias hammer, for which to those who wield it everything seems to look like a nail.

And often they misunderstand us. When met with something they do not understand, people may simply say "God did it." Then along come scientists and say "Ah, not so: this is caused by energy transferred in X way by Y methods. See, your so-called god is vanishing one explanation at a time." (Then we ask them where energy came from originally, and they vow to have the answer to that too, someday. There are theories. Just have faith.) This is the 'god of the gaps' idea, that "God" is merely the answer to things for which science has not yet provided a purely natural explanation. Some Christians do use this argument, and I think they should stop. We don't believe God hides in the inexplicable; we believe He created the explicable. As Paul reminds us, God's invisible attributes can be observed clearly from the things that are made. His existence need not be only inferred from the things that are mysterious. That would be weak faith indeed.

In the end, however, it's not even a necessary conflict. One can say that lightning is a transfer of energy and one can say that lightning shows the power of God, and those two statements are in no way contradictory. If God created this universe, then "God did it," applies to everything that follows, it doesn't matter by what means He was pleased to arrange things to occur. "Friction kept your tires on the road" is not a rebuttal to the claim that you drove to work this morning, it's one piece of evidence that your claim is a rational one.

The Experience of Doubt

I certainly do experience feelings of doubt from time to time. It's a strong temptation on the missions field in general, and for me in this place specifically where people hear of Jesus and say neither "Lord" nor "silly myth" but "Wonderful, you've got your god, we've got ours.. lots of them actually."

But I had strong feelings of pain when I stubbed my toe the other day too, and I did not throw out my preexisting conception of the universe based on those feelings. ("I've been wrong all this time.. all is pain! There is nothing in life but all-consuming pain and that blasted metaphorical chair leg, whatever it represents!") The example is obviously absurd, but in more serious situations that's more or less what occurs. Some pain does not pass so quickly, and its intensity can weaken our convictions and make us question our assumptions, even when it shouldn't.

I often have the weird situation here on the mission field where I get 'attacks' of very strong feelings to doubt, as I mentioned earlier, without even much content to speak of, only force. It's much like someone sitting beside you screaming at you "doubt! doubt! doubt!" without ever saying what it is you should doubt.

Now here's the fun part: The fact that you already know what it is you're 'supposed' to be doubting, and the force with which this demand to doubt comes into your mind, all plays into exactly how the Bible describes the world. I'm being tempted to doubt by whom? The existence of a tempter is a pretty good confirmation of scripture, no? And you want me to doubt who? Precisely the God of Scripture, as it turns out? So it turns out that by turning the tables on a doubt, and making it answer the questions, typically you destroy it. (Caution: Don't be prideful about that, that's just trading one sin for an equally dangerous one. Doubts often fade away after a little while, pride typically does not.)

After that realization, doubt began to no longer feel like potential ulcer wanting to crop up inside me, but more like a wind trying to buffet me from the outside. Sometimes buttoning up my jacket is sufficient; sometimes I call to the One who calmed the winds with a word.

In both cases, I am able to bring to mind numerous moments in my life where I intentionally set up a remembrance stone in my memory, to say "here is where God did something amazing." I've experienced so many of those moments; of students coming to Christ and my seeing the immediate, inexplicable change in them, of situations that seemed impossible right up until we prayed, of the joy and peace and love I feel in His very real presence. The evidence of God, once seen in faith, is unending and wonderful.
But one doesn't get to see it much inside one's comfort zone, I should add.

Conclusion

Doubts may attack sometimes, but my faith is never in doubt. Even when assailed by a gale of doubt and feeling neither faithful nor logical, I have my remembrance stones, and the wind can't push those around. And it obeys the voice of the One who died for me, who offered Thomas the proof he asked for, yet blessed us who believe without yet having seen it. But we will see it. Let us continue in faith.

God cannot be 'proved' in the way people demand proof, but by faith He can certainly be experienced, proof enough to the we who experience Him, and faith in His existence and presence explains everything else in a perfectly sensible way. As C.S.Lewis famously said, "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

In the end, so many times it turns out like this:
Scripture says there is an invisible ladder in this spot, so in faith I begin to climb here, and after considerable effort I find that miraculously I am fifty feet up in the air, just as Scripture said. The scoffer's mocking reaction that I am merely imagining myself to be fifty feet off the ground would carry more weight if he wasn't shouting into the sky to let me hear him.

            I hope reading this strengthens your faith as well.

Half a Year in Taiwan - Some Serious Thoughts

As of 4 days ago, I marked 6 months of long-term service here. It's been an interesting time, with some surprising struggles, and unexpected encouragements.

Since in about a week I will be busy and travelling for summer camps until sometime in the latter half of July, this week seems like a good chance to reflect on lessons I've learned and am learning.

 

Reflections on these six months...

 

1. Expectations might be your enemy, but you can't ever quite succeed in not having them.

I tried not too have too many expectations coming back to Taiwan, but the very experience that made it a more feasible task to swap continents, lifestyles, and environments also inevitably meant that I would have some expectations based on that experience. Much of the experience that gave rise to those expectations was valuable, crucial even, to working effectively here this time, but the hardest thing coming back has been the frustration of some of those expectations.

I imagine most of you know what culture shock is; well reverse culture shock is the (often unexpected, and sometimes more difficult) shock one experiences when returning to one's home culture and realizing that your perspective has been changed as a result of your experiences in a new culture, and that you now view your home culture in a slightly different way. Sometimes your eyes are opened to negative things you never noticed before, sometimes your priorities have simply be rearranged, but either way it can be difficult to experience and nearly impossible for anyone who hasn't experienced it themselves to sympathize with you.

The blessing of my prior experience of living in Taiwan for a year affected my coming here this time in nearly every possible way, basically letting me hit the ground running. I was actively doing ministry within a few days of arriving while my brain was doing overtime trying to get used to being in constant Chinese mode. At the same time I was caught unprepared for the painful realization that Taiwan, and more specifically my acquaintances in Taiwan, had not been static and unchanging in the 5+ years in between last time I lived here and now. Kids who were in middle school my first few trips to Taiwan, and only early highschool when I lived here that year, are now getting into their early 20's. Being still in my 20's until next year, that means we're all in our 20's together, which is fun and meaningful in some ways and rather odd at the same time!

At the same time, old friends have moved on with their lives, with those fundamental changes that creep in between your mid 20's and your late 20's. I discovered some friendships have survived, many haven't, and the warmth with which I was welcomed back to Taiwan before my actual arrival turned out to be more or less unrelated to the eagerness of the welcomers to actually meet with me once I was here. Some former acquaintances are now friends, some friends are now more like old acquaintances, and I find myself not starting with anything like the social circle I thought I had coming in.

You could call it reverse-reverse culture shock, perhaps; learning to dodge the jab of culture shock only to be hit with a left hook when moving back into reach of the same culture again. But I think a more accurate term would be simply time shock; regardless of culture, it hits all of us sooner or later.

2. Yes I Still Love Taiwan!

The process of getting over here nearly gave me ulcers again. ("Let go and let God" sounds lovely and serene, but my experience is more like "Hold on tight and ask God to keep your fingers from getting broken if this thing comes to a quick stop") Having finally made it, though, it is such a tremendous blessing to have been given a love for the place to which you are called. And love is the right term, because the like gets stretched at times, but in the end I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

My work here is varied; I am not just here to "do ministry," though there's plenty of that, I am here to be a living representative of Christ. That calling leads to everything from teaching songs to 2nd graders and English to 80+ year old seniors using DIY bingo cards, to having late night Skype meetings with American short-term mission teams because of the time difference, to discussing concepts of Christianity and Taiwanese culture in mandarin with my young professional friends in elaborately-ambianced cafes, to turning the tables on pairs of Mormon missionaries and witnessing to them instead.

I'm not sure where Taiwan lies on the scale of comfort in terms of mission fields. It's really a false question because how comfortable you are depends on a lot of factors, and the overall environment and modernity of your surroundings is merely one of those. One could get along quite happily with a great ministry team planting churches in jungles, slums, or even a city dump, or push through day after discouraging day with no visible progress in your lonely coffee shop gospel outreach in a posh, comfortable neighborhood of a global city.
For my part, I tend to feel lucky that I get to live here. Sometimes when a short term team visits, though, I'm reminded that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for the details of life here. Living in Taiwan comes with all the benefits and drawbacks of living in/right next to the tropics:

There's intense humidity (hanging one's clothes out to dry may result in their mildewing instead), the insect life is diversely sized and numerous (from air-thickening mosquitoes to flying cockroaches to spiders that are like skinny tarantulas), nothing lasts more than a couple of hours without being refrigerated, garbage disposal becomes a serious endeavor that requires planning and multiple types of garbage bags, one is typically soaked in either rain or sweat within 90 seconds of going out the front door, I could go on. Most expats actually flee Taiwan after the school year ends to spend the relentlessly muggy summer elsewhere.

On the other hand one can drink inexpensive fresh papaya milk between waving palm trees under a glowing blue sky and feel that all that is not so bad. And since it's Taiwan, you might just as easily be doing that in front of a 3-story, Times Square-style LED billboard that's advertising cough syrup with Chinese medicinal herbs, or next to a quaint country train station built in the old Japanese colonial style with summer breezes playing through the flooded rice fields. There could be a garbage truck playing Fur Elise, or a guy beatboxing Mario bros. across from the barbecued squid stand.

Really, you never know what you'll see...

A Rubber Ducky bigger than a Starbucks floating in the harbor? Yeah, you might see that.

3. Things Never Stop Changing Anywhere in the World.

Taiwan in 2014 is a little more tired, a little less affluent. Taiwan's overall cultural worldview is even more heavily centered around almighty Success than America's is, so the lack of it (worse, due to global economic conditions and Taiwan's rather unique situation, the creeping realization of the inevitable future lack of it) affects people and society in general here even more deeply.

So the "cheerfulness" factor in general is noticeably down for someone who's only been back on a few short trips between 2008 and the end of last year. The glory days were just ending then, and there was happy inertia. Not so much now.
Of course all this is compared to the 'Taiwanese miracle' days of being one of the 4 Asian Tiger economies. So having come down several notches from that doesn't qualify as "hard times" yet here, but it's harder than many students now have ever known. Up until the middle of that decade people had been throwing out old stuff and buying new, now they're holding onto what was new in 2008 and it's not so shiny anymore. Graduating students don't find jobs waiting for them. It's a similar situation to what America faces now, really, except America has far more power, resources, and potential options.Taiwan is in a difficult political situation, and their friends are few and not willing to challenge China. In the past, the US was a guarantee that China would not unilaterally move to change the situation, but nowadays that's looking less and less like a surety.

Of course, while obviously no one enjoys a decline in prosperity, we have to ask the most important question: What does this mean for the gospel in Taiwan?
Honestly, it will probably result in people being more open to listen. People accuse Christianity of being a crutch for the weak, but it's far more the case that success is a crutch for the mortal; a means to pretend to control his own fate. Once the idols one worshipped in exchange for hope of worldly success seem ineffective, people will be more willing to listen to those who claim there is a God whose hope is not of this world. (They'll also be less willing to tolerate missionaries who don't seem to be contributing to Taiwan's economy, so we'll see how that situation progresses.)

4. I Need More of God

I am increasingly aware that my own relationship to God is more relaxed than fervent. The focus in American Evangelicalism on sound Biblical doctrine is very important, but it should serve as the rails on which our train runs, not the station we're headed to. God seeks to know us, and our path in life is to walk with Him, not only have very scripturally sound ideas about Him.

My time in seminary was glorious and blessed, but my lifestyle over those 3+ years was totally exhausting physically, mentally, and spiritually. My faith was strengthened and not weakened, praise God, by the fearless and intimate look at His word "behind the scenes" that my seminary offered. It was not confusion and dismay at some of the Sunday School Answers being challenged so much as relief that for some topics there were more complicated and grown-up answers that were much more satisfactory while not challenging scriptural authority whatsoever. (Sometimes the original text even leaves room for more than one interpretation! What a relief to find that we can disagree with each other on non-doctrine level questions and still all be equally convinced of the truth of Scripture.)

But by the time it was over, I needed rest and recovery. The time in Alabama was mostly an unstable "between time," with several months of "oh, you're still here?" It was valuable time spent with family and old friends, which I am grateful for, but also stressful in that I was neither here nor there.

After finally arriving in Taiwan and after the initial few months of transition, my life began to assume some kind of normal routine. I began to realize the lack of normal routine or stable life situation had seriously affected my daily walk. I'd been praying and working through so many big, one-time issues both as I left the US and upon arriving here that I'd gotten entirely out of the habit of setting aside daily time with God.

In America that's wrong, it's spiritual laziness, and being actively involved in church isn't sufficient to make up for it.
But Taiwan is not America. This is not Christendom, and never was; idolatry has never been seriously challenged until these few decades, and the real breakthrough hasn't happened yet. Here, under spiritual warfare and without a consistent church home, trying to plant a church in a spiritually resistant community where no steeples rise but the chimneys of many daoist sacrificial furnaces do, where the air is often thick with the smoke of burnt paper money and joss incense, what was detrimental to my spiritual health in the US is here an imminent danger.

(By way of analogy, imagine back when they had the smoking sections and non-smoking sections in restaurants. Sure, you could still smell dangerous second-hand smoke sometimes drifting over from the smoking section, but spiritually speaking this is like sitting at the table full of people smoking)

So if I don't hold onto time in God's presence on a personal level, actively seeking after Him, I will be dragged away from Him. Not from salvation, the enemy can't touch that. But your spiritual health can be chipped away bit by bit, and here I see how that can happen. Missionaries need your prayer for more than just the success of their ministry, when they go into the enemy's territory with the gospel they get the enemy's poisonous attention.

Sacrificial pig on display during Ghost Month, a plea to ancestral spirits to not harass the living

 

5. Taiwan Needs Prayer, More Than Ever Before

Even without this special kind of spiritual pressure, being on the mission field our reliance on God is made more obvious. I submit that this should not only be the case on the mission field, but it can be more difficult to leave our comfort zone when it's the default and you have to work to get out of it, whereas on the mission field being out of your comfort zone is the default and you have to work to fine one, if it's even possible.

In any case, we pray a lot! We know that any success in this kind of spiritual endeavor (and in the face of this warfare) will come through God's work, not our plans. We are all ambassadors for Christ here, and that role is made glaringly obvious in a land where most people's reaction to Christ is neither acceptance nor denial, but a shrug. He's great for you westerners, but what has He go to do with Taiwanese?

Missionaries have been in Taiwan for a long time, but the gospel has only reached certain sections of the population. The church that does exist cannot be described as consistently healthy either. I've noticed that some people think that while the church in America is sometimes sadly described as a mile wide and an inch deep, in countries with only a small church presence it must be the opposite; small gatherings of passionate and fearless believers. Taiwan is more or less neither, to be honest. In terms of Protestant Christians, there are a few dozen very large churches on the island, several thousand in total (most having fewer than 50 people on an island of 23 million people), and most of them are similar to American churches. People come on Sunday, maybe participate in a weekday night service or maybe not, and in small churches the "80-20 rule" (80% of the work done by 20% of the church) might even be more like 90-10. Or frighteningly often, only the pastor, because he's the "professional Christian," and it's his job to do the spiritual stuff, right?

I have noticed even more strongly this time living here that the prosperity gospel is also rampant in Taiwan. Joel Osteen is in literally almost every church bookstore. When you worship idols, it's a very natural transition. Idols (and the gods they represent) don't love you, but they can help you get stuff you want if you worship them. How much better to change your allegiance from a bunch of small gods to one big God who loves you -and- will help you get the stuff you want if you worship Him?

Please continue to pray for Taiwan.

6. Seeking My Place in Taiwan

"Doing" ministry in Taiwan is not always easy but it at least consists of relatively clearly defined tasks with goals you can write down. "Being" in Taiwan is what has presented me with the most difficulties so far, and it's something I want to work on. Who am I, here?

As a westerner in Taiwan, I'm not under any illusions that I'll ever be Taiwanese in the strict sense. If I spoke absolutely fluent and brilliant Mandarin, Taiwanese, and Hakka too, was a Taiwanese citizen, wrote famous historical novels about Taiwan in Chinese, had a seat in the Taiwanese legislature, whatever.. to a random person on the street I would be a white tourist. That's just how it is.

In a way, though, that takes some pressure off. If I was in Germany, say, for lifelong ministry, I might be tempted to set the goal to basically become German. This would be impossible in one sense (I didn't and now can never grow up Germany), but it would seem much more attemptable, as being ethnically Northern European, after some years, in dress, posture, and maybe even language, it's conceivable that I could appear to be and come across as a native German. That's an extremely difficult thing to do, and arguably you lose out on some benefits that you bring to the table as a foreigner in terms of ministry. It also leads to interesting identity issues.

In Taiwan, since this is impossible, I don't have the temptation to try. I am not content, however, to remain solely on the sidelines. My goal is to be fluent in at least Mandarin, and find a place in Taiwan's society, an accepted role among my friends and acquaintances and coworkers, so I can have an identity here other than "guest who doesn't leave." Some have suggested that's impossible. Maybe so. At this stage I think it's too early to say, so I will forge ahead and see what happens. It's true that it would have been more of a feasible option had I gotten here 9 years ago and spent all my 20's here, making friends long before those friends started families. So I know I'm arriving late in the game, but it's also a game without clearly defined rules, so maybe I can write a few myself. Only time and God's providence will tell.

So please keep praying for me too; it's been a long road but my journey is only beginning...

Photo Essay Post: A Day Trip to Neiwan (內灣)

Yesterday some of the missionaries and I took a trip to Neiwan, in the mountains near Hsinchu.
It's an old Hakka town that has been partially preserved, in the foothills of Taiwan's beautiful mountains.

Come with me for a brief look around...

Arrived in Hsinchu. I can see blue sky! (It's been almost two weeks of rain in Taipei)

A really nice day to at this train station for 45min because there's only one train to Neiwan per hour.

Arrived in Neiwan!

Old town street, lots of traditional snacks

We found an interesting restaurant which used to be an old theater

Very cool place...

Old equipment. A couple props, but most of it is real.

I'm guessing back in the day the more important people got to watch from upstairs.

They showed old movies too. This one seemed to be a comedy of the slapstick variety.

So many Tatung Boy dolls.. (the mascot of an almost-100-year-old Taiwanese manufacturing firm)

An old abandoned church, signs in both Chinese and Japanese

Christianity in Taiwan declined from the 50's and 60's until the turn of the century.

Going down to the river

Beautiful river valley

The water was very clear and greener than it's showing up here

Misty mountains

We spent a while relaxing by the water

The hidden ninja village-uh, I mean, town.. of Neiwan.

In Taiwan, even potting soil is delicious!

If it's actually chocolate crumbs covering strawberry ice cream, that is...

Heading back

The Taiwanese countryside (no filter)

Heading back to Xinzhu and then Taipei. I love Taiwan!

10 Things I will Miss about America while in Taiwan - 6 Months In

So before leaving for Taiwan, I wrote a post about things I expected to miss about American while living in Taiwan. (Things, not people, so they're not on the list. I assume friends and family are a given) Now that I'm coming up on half a year over here, I want to take a look at those expectations and see what I got right, what I got wrong, and what I didn't find out until I got over here again.

So without further ado, let's check out my 10 previous things:

1. Driving (Confirmed)

Yes, I do miss driving. Living in this part of Taiwan a car would be more trouble than use (I don't need to haul things and people around much, and finding a parking space takes longer than getting to your destination), and I don't really need a scooter, though I'll probably want to learn how to ride one just to have that option.

But driving does other things too. It gives you time to yourself (valuable for introverts), and you can listen to your music turned up without earbuds and it doesn't bother your neighbors (and their neighbors, and their neighbors...). I also used to do a lot of praying and thinking while driving, and miss those quiet times.

2. Spring and Autumn (Partially confirmed)

We'll see. Being in the East Asian monsoon cycle, things don't exactly follow the traditional Western four seasons; Chinese culture observes more or less the same solar cycle but we're way farther south than where the traditional ideas about the seasons were developed, and also an island in the Pacific, so things get a little... tropical. Autumn remains to be seen, but since this winter was unusually cold it seemed quite Spring-like when it warmed up and the cherry trees blossomed. We've gotten unbelievable amounts of rain since I got here (which is semi-normal but it's definitely more than last time I lived here), both when it was colder early in the year and for nearly the entire month of May, with the arrival of the Plum Rains (梅雨).

Seattle gets 37" (950mm) of rain per year; Taipei gets 95" (2,400mm)
Could be worse.. nearby Keelung gets an incredible 144" of rain per year. (3755mm)

So far the jury's out on this one, given that Spring was pretty normal. I know from experience that there's not really a proper Autumn, however, so we're calling this partially confirmed until proven otherwise.

3. Being able to wear Dark Colored Shirts in the Summer (Mostly Busted)

(This one was kind of random. I wonder why I included this in the original post)... Having just passed Dragon Boat Festival it's only now considered early summer, but according to my weather app with the humidity it felt like 100F here (38C) a couple Saturdays ago. I haven't replaced my clothing to the extent I'd expected before getting over here. I should get on that, actually...some of these are pre-seminary shirts, they're getting to that really comfortable stage that wives/girlfriends seem to dislike. The good news is that as long as I don't need to carry a backpack, a dark-colored shirt does just fine hiding the sweat and I rarely get the serious salt mine action I mentioned in the original article.

4. Being able to Make Jokes (Partially confirmed)

Mostly right. My Taiwanese coworker is rather fond of what they call "cold" jokes in Mandarin (what we'd call a bad pun, the ones that make people groan and leave), and as I've knocked the rust off my Chinese and improved it here and there, I'm able to make some forays into Chinese punning. The tricky thing is to make sure you're not saying something inappropriate by accident (there are lots and lots of homophones in Mandarin), as your listeners usually remember to give you the benefit of the doubt, but not always..

5. Real Southern Food and Tex/Mex Food. (Confirmed, but it's ok)

Yes. I do miss both of these, but am encouraged that there are a couple new Mexican places to check out, and also very excited to have belatedly discovered the Taiwanese pork BBQ sandwich:

Guabao! In Chinese the name means "glory in a rice flour bun"
(Ok not really, but it could)

It doesn't look like what you're used to, and it's not hickory-smoked pulled-pork (nor sliced beef brisket) but believe me, it's amazing on its own merits, and somehow fills that dietary niche quite well.

Still miss the Southern food, but as I said in the original post, that doesn't even exist much in the rest of the States, so there's not exactly a sense of deprivation.

6. References (Allusions to things in wider pop culture) (Confirmed)

For sure on this one. Even more common references get missed, sometimes due to not knowing the Chinese name of something (which is not necessary just the translation of the English name), and sometimes just due to different growing up experiences.

It's always fun to discover when you have something in common with a Taiwanese friend, however, and can both appreciate the reference. And there are always the more recent references, things that happened after I moved here, of which I now have a growing stock and have used successfully a few times.

7. Arguing about Politics (Busted)

Well.. I had good intentions about staying 100% out of political discussions, I really did... then there was a historical first in Taiwan when protesting students took over the Taiwanese legislative chamber for three weeks, accompanied by the biggest protest rally in Taiwanese history. With near-heroic levels of self-control (I argued about politics with my second grade teacher when Bill Clinton was elected and she made us watch his inauguration, no joke), I managed to make (mostly) indirect references to it online and mostly post news stories so my American friends would be aware of the situation without interjecting too many of my own thoughts. I also took the opportunity to learn a lot about Taiwan politics in general.

What I said in the first post was true; I need to avoid this as much as possible. It's not worth losing a chance to witness over. But it's also very difficult to sit on the fence in these situations, especially when many of my friends feel passionately about these issues. (Once or twice I felt that it would have been less offensive just to go ahead and say what I thought, rather than claiming I didn't think I should say what I thought) I will keep praying for discernment in knowing who to share my thoughts with, and knowing if/when the appropriate time to do that would be.

8. No Garbage Cans (Confirmed)

Yes, it's a constant thing you have to work around here that you don't in America, and it's annoying to have to be home at 9:05PM when the trucks come rolling in (Blasting Fur Elise to let you know they're on their way) for just a couple of minutes, and keep food trash in your freezer in the mean time. But I don't generate all that much non-recyclable trash, and I can haul that down to the street and give it to an old lady who gets money for turning it in, so it's all good.

9. Not Wondering about Water Quality (Busted)

 

This one hasn't really been an issue, as I suspected at the time it might not be. It's better not to drink out of random faucets, but bottled water is slightly cheaper than in the US when needed, and I have a Brita filter to use in my apartment. (Hey, come to think of it, my filter needs changing...)

10. Blending In (Confirmed)

Yeah. I get stared at (or very conspicuously not stared at, which is kind of the same thing) every day. Goes with the territory, won't change during my whole life over here, so I wouldn't expect it to be any different. And no it doesn't make people racist, it would be the same if I were super tall or super short or super-whatever. I'm just easier to notice, and so people do.

 Some parts of Taipei actually have a lot of foreigners, though interestingly, (white) foreigners tend to not be American or Canadian this time around. I hear a lot of French and German, as much or more than English.

11. UPDATED: New entry

Ok, so in summary I think I did reasonably well in guessing which things I'd miss. But I forgot one of the biggest small things that I miss about the US:

Being able to flush toilet paper.

 

There's always a can beside the toilet... optimally it gets emptied often

I've heard various reasons: the water pressure isn't good enough to get it through the pipes; there are chemicals in the paper that aren't supposed to go into the plumbing system; perhaps there's no way to get rid of the paper once it collects wherever it collects. All I know is, the general rule is that you can't flush toilet paper here.

This may seem like a small thing (or maybe not), but put that together with no central A/C, a tropical climate, interesting changes in your diet, and the fact that the only legal way to get garbage out of your house is to coordinate disposal with the nightly garbage trucks, and it's one of the bigger small annoyances one deals with.

(Note: One of the biggest 'things' I miss about living in America is the churches and church families I've grown close to, both my sending and supporting churches, in Alabama and Texas. But I mentioned at the beginning that this list was for things, not people, and a church is not a thing, it's people)

Conclusion:

I love Taiwan, and any of these things I miss are very much balanced out by great things about being able to live here. (The most difficult things are mostly the same things as I'd deal with at this stage of my life doing full time ministry in the US) I'm very blessed to see God at work, and our ministries have progressed slowly but steadily over the past half year. It will be interesting to take another look at this once it's been a full year and see if my perspective has changed at all.

A Case for Cross-Cultural Short Term Missions: Introduction

(We just had a short-term missions team leave, and so it seems a good time to delve into this subject, one I had previously promised to discuss. Obviously it's a complicated topic, so this will be our introduction and we'll look at different aspects of short term missions in coming posts)

Short-term Missions - Good or Bad?

Of course, this is a ridiculous question.

("Putting things in your mouth and swallowing them, good or bad?" "Well, that all depends on what-" "Nope, don't try to dodge the question, you have to say whether it's good or bad.")

Nothing is gained from using a binary mentality to approach a complicated issue.

The question we should be asking, I submit, is what kind of short-term mission trips help accomplish the Great Commission, spreading the Kingdom, and do so in a way that is not obviously a foolish waste of the resources God has given us: time, money, energy, etc.? Then the question is whether those kinds of trips are feasible enough for churches to continue to do short-term missions as they currently do.

That is the question I will try to answer over the course of this discussion, and note that we're mainly focusing on cross-cultural short-term trips, though much of what we'll discuss applies to trips within a particular culture as well.

Claim #1: It is possible to have a short-term missions trip which does more harm than good.

This is something which in the past few years has been clearly acknowledged.

From the youth trip that ends up being more about keeping the high school guys and girls from flirting too much in their swimsuits on the beach than about running the kids' camp which was supposedly the purpose of the trip, to the big impressive voyage to a sensitive area in China or the Muslim world that ends up putting the local believers in danger while the visiting foreigners are obliviously enthusiastic about how "cool" it is to be on a "secret, risky" trip, one can stack enough bad examples together to convince some that short-term trips are generally more harm than good and should be abandoned as a paradigm for churches.

There's also the "bang for the buck" argument, which suggests that at some point a trip is not going to accomplish enough to justify its expense. Obviously it's impossible to put a dollar value on a human soul (an expression I may have heard a few too many times), but it's also quite easy to spend a lot of other peoples' money yet not really accomplish anything, so this is something we want to keep in mind. We must avoid both the sin of Judas, whose argument about money being wasted was based on a love of that money and not of Christ, and the sin of Ananias and Sapphira, who claimed to be giving their money to the Kingdom but intended some of it for their own selfish purposes.

Claim #2: It is not good enough that the people going on the trip are edified. The trip should have a specific goal that benefits those that receive the short-termers.

I have heard, many many times, the statement (and it is typically true) that "you will get more out of a short-term trip personally than you help the people you're going to serve."

Now so long as you do actually help the people you're going to serve as well, that's not a bad thing at all, it's what we call a "win-win." (arguably a "win-win-win" for you fans of The Office out there) If the team is helpful to the local missions effort, and the team grows in their own faith as well, that's a great outcome for a trip, regardless of which one is "more," which is not really something you can measure anyway.

And, honestly, the average short-term team is composed of relatively inexperienced travelers, who are going to need to spend a lot of time and energy just getting used to the new location. It's unreasonable to expect them to move mountains on stomachs full of unusual food, ears full of an unintelligible language, and brains full of jetlag. (Sometimes they do anyway; to God be the glory.)

But while as an observation the statement is accurate, as a motivation it's quite self-centered. The goal is hopefully to help the people you are going to, with personal growth as a welcome outcome, not to help yourselves with the trip as merely a means to that end.

This is especially true if a team's capabilities or preparation are not adequate to accomplish the goals of their trip, something which has been dangerously close to true on one or two trips I led in the past. We had a good trip, and felt like we'd learned quite a lot, but were not able to serve as effectively as we'd like, and some complaints from local volunteers even made their way back to me later through friends.

Claim #3: It is possible to have a short-term missions trip which is more helpful to the local believers and missionaries than it exhausts them.

On a positive note, many of us have participated in trips that seemed to be at least somewhat successful, in a measurable sense. People did hear the gospel. Something did get built. There were English teachers for an outreach event that needed them.

It's always tiring for those who receive the teams, that's simply a fact of short-term trips. But if the team can help accomplish something the local believers and/or missionaries would not have been able to do on their own, then some exhaustion is worth it. Speaking as a long-term missionary, we didn't come here to relax, we're just happy when our tiredness is accompanied by seeing God moving and people serving, and sometimes that happens through these trips in ways we couldn't do by ourselves.

(Convenient example that just occurred):
We just said goodbye to a team from California, who worked in our community for 3 weeks. Everything was new to them, most of them had never traveled internationally before, only one of them knew any Mandarin, and the weather was chaotic, but by the time they left two local high schools we didn't have any contact with previously had called asking about our English program, we had met the principal of a school we'd been working in for months, and they had shared their testimonies and the gospel with quite a number of students, planting seeds in some cases and watering in others. (And all this in a pretty dry field, more so than they knew)
After working with them for three weeks we all need a rest now, but we're quite pleased with what they accomplished, how their hearts were prepared to serve, and we thank God for bringing them.

This is an example of how things can go right. The team had been through a ton of training, didn't have any obvious personality conflicts, and had a missions organization helping to manage the logistics of their trip, so it was a better than usual case. Obviously trips can go very wrong as well, but that just means it's a question of how they're prepared for and conducted, not of intrinsic value.

We'll stop there for now, and take a more detailed look at what often goes wrong with short-term trips themselves in the next installment. But in the mean time I'd love to hear your stories, about short-term trips that went very right, or very wrong.
(Do remember to leave the identifying names out either way...)

Walking on Eggshells... Difficulties in Learning Chinese Culture

(Note: None of the characters in this story are based on anyone I know, they merely represent generalizations of situations I've encountered on my path of cultural learning in Taiwan.)

Let us say that you have been invited to a party. You recently moved to a new neighborhood, and you're excited about getting to know your neighbors. You receive the fancy invitation and are impressed, it looks like people here really have style, you'll be careful to make the best impression you can.

Arriving at the party, you enter and are surprised at how warmly you are greeted by the hosts and everyone else present; you've never felt so honored as a guest. The decorations are beautiful and different from the ones in your old neighborhood, and the refreshments are unlike anything you have tasted before, but you decide you like them. This will be great, you think. You did stumble a bit as you entered, feeling something underfoot, but you are too busy meeting new people to notice.

Soon after many polite words the host graciously takes his leave to welcome other guests, and you pass into the main room beyond. At this point you stumble again. You definitely stepped on something. Looking down, you see that it was an egg. Yuck! The shell is crushed beneath your nice leather shoe and there's yolk and albumen everywhere. Embarrassed, you look around. Fortunately no one seems to have noticed.

Making your way carefully to a table, you notice there are no napkins. You ask someone where you can find one. "Oh, please, allow me," they say with a smile, and offer you their own handkerchief. "Oh, no," you protest, "I don't want to use your handkerchief to clean this up, I just need a disposable napkin." But they insist, and you can't figure out a polite way to decline. Thanking them profusely, and deciding people around here must be incredibly nice, you look around, wondering why you couldn't see the egg before you stepped on it.

The floor is clean, though, no other eggs to be seen. You try a few snacks and mingle with the other people, who are all interested to talk to the guest and lavish with their compliments. Soon, however, as you are approaching to shake hands with someone, you feel it again. "Crunch." Looking down, you see your shoe is again slimed by a raw egg you've stepped on. You smile apologetically for the unusual incident, but no one else has changed expressions or taken any notice at all. The man shakes hands with you, and everyone continues the lively conversation.

This seems strange. Turning to one new acquaintance, you motion down at the smashed egg. He gives you a very brief confused look, then smiles and invites you to try more snacks before moving on.
Suddenly you notice something strange about the way he is walking. He seems to be choosing his steps very carefully, as if avoiding something. Looking around, you see that everyone is walking in this way. They must be able to see the eggs on the floor! But why didn't they warn you about them?

In your old neighborhood, there were a few eggs on the floor too. Sometimes they were hard to spot, but there was always a little sign warning people of their presence, or at least a mark on the floor. This way even newcomers could know to avoid them. If they would do that here, it would make things so much easier, but it seems like no one has thought to do this. You think about suggesting it, but decide it would be a little too forward to do at your first party here. Maybe next time.

You still have egg on your shoe, and begin looking for napkins. Still none to be found. You don't want to ask anyone for fear they'll offer you their handkerchief again, but eventually you break down and do so. This time, the person is unlike the others, a little less friendly. He offers you his handkerchief, but seems a little reluctant to do so, as if it's an obligation. You try to decline, but he seems to be getting increasingly annoyed, so you give in and accept the handkerchief. He moves on quickly, and you really start hoping you can find some napkins soon.

As you walk away, it happens again. "Squish." Now you're starting to get annoyed too. You beckon to someone you met earlier, and they come over with a friendly smile. "Are there a lot of eggs on the floor here?" You ask. The person seems startled by the direct question. "Oh, it's possible that there may be one or two," they say, "but you shouldn't worry about that. Just enjoy the party!" You point at your shoe. "Do you not see that I have egg all over my shoe?" They shake their head quickly, not looking down. "No no, I'm sure nothing like that would happen." You can't get much more out of them, so you thank them and continue on.

You need to clean your shoe, this egg even got a little on your pant leg. But you are beginning to think there really might not be any napkins at this party, and you didn't know to bring your own handkerchief.

You notice someone's child standing nearby, and she is giggling at your shoe, clearly because of the egg all over it. It seems rude, but mostly you're grateful someone has acknowledged the egg at all. You motion to her, but she is shy and runs away. Before she leaves, though, she points to a spot on the ground nearby and grins.

Walking there carefully, you nudge the place she pointed to with your foot, and sure enough you feel an egg roll away. Why don't they just mark where the eggs are like normal people!? "If only I had someone to walk around with me," you think to yourself, "they could point out all the eggs and I would know where to step."

You see someone who greeted you when you first arrived, and walk quickly over to ask them for help. As you move in that direction, however, your knee suddenly strikes an unseen obstacle. With a strange sound, a whole giant pile of eggs tumbles to the ground, sending puddles of raw egg everywhere. Some of it gets on the other guests, who give you irritated looks. One or two look outright angry. One of the hosts who greeted you rushes over. "Are you enjoying the party?" he asks, looking concerned. "Yes thank you," you say, "but all these eggs... I'm sorry." The host smiles a little painfully. "Oh, no need to apologize at all, just..." -he lowers his voice so only you can hear- "try to watch where you are going, ok?"

He turns to leave. Almost panicking, you grab at his sleeve. Several bystanders wince. He turns, and now his smile looks very artificial, the duty of a gracious host encountering a painful social situation with all the courtesy he can muster, which to his credit is considerable. "I'm sorry," you begin, "I appreciate the invitation so much and I don't want to be rude, so if someone could please just show me where the eggs are on the floor, I could avoid them and everything would be ok. In my old neighborhood we always marked the eggs, but it seems like here I'm the only one who can't see them." He looks confused. "You are new here, of course, and we are so glad you have joined us tonight. But you know, forgive me for saying so, but this is not your old neighborhood, so we will be very pleased if you can understand some of our rules. One is that it's... a little uncomfortable to talk about the eggs. It's better not to talk about them at all. Please just watch where you step very carefully, but really, what is a broken egg or two between friends? We are so glad that you were able to come."

You watch miserably as the other guests begin scooping up the puddles of raw egg in their handkerchiefs, some even using their suit coats and expensive purses. Some manage to force a smile at you in the process, but others whisper and glance furtively in your direction.

Just then you see an attractive young lady who has already given you an appreciative glance or two headed your way. She smiles at you. "What a mess! I see you are new to our neighborhood, yes?" You nod, and she moves in to whisper. "I see you have found out about our eggs." You feel a rush of relief. "Yes, these eggs, I'm so embarrassed, I don't know where to step. There aren't any markers here." She laughs. "Don't worry, I have lived in other neighborhoods before, I know they usually mark where the eggs are. But here is different, you have to learn to know where they are without markers. We can't see all of them either, but if we can't see them we know where they will be." You sigh. "But how long will it take me to figure out how to do that?" She shrugs. "I'm not sure, some of our guests learn quickly, others never do, they have to bring people with them to parties to show them where all the eggs are, and to clean up the messes they make when they miss one. But why do you want to stay here, wasn't your old neighborhood better than this?" You hesitate. "I don't know, this place seems nice too." She rolls her eyes. "It's boring. I liked the other neighborhoods I visited better. But there's no place like home I guess. Anyway, let's talk about the neighborhood you came from, what's it like there?"

You hesitate. "I really need to know about the eggs, can't you help me with those?" She thinks for a moment. "Actually, since I lived in other neighborhoods for a long time, it's hard for me to teach you how to see the eggs. I even step on an egg now and then myself, but I have a handkerchief so it's no problem." You nod enthusiastically. "Yes! I need a handkerchief, at least that way I can clean up my own messes. Where can I buy one?" She smiles apologetically. "I'm sorry but they don't sell them. Your parents give you one when you are a child, and you keep it your whole life."

You sigh. "You mean there's no way to get one?" She grins mysteriously. "There is at least one easy way."
"What's that?" you reply, eager to find at least a partial solution to this mess. "I can let you use mine," she says. "I don't need it all the time, and I can also help tell you where some of the eggs are." You agree enthusiastically, certain that the worst part of the party is behind you. (And her attractive company is not unwelcome either.)

Soon, however, you realize that all is not well. The girl sticks close to you, not seeming to be familiar with the others at the party, and seems more interested in chatting about the place you came from than helping you meet more people at this party. You also get odd looks from some of the other guests that you weren't getting before. Once the host makes eye contact with you and shakes his head slightly, pursing his lips. You don't know exactly how to interpret any of this, and mention it to the girl. She shrugs. "I don't know, I don't really understand half of why they do what they do here." "But wait," you ask, confused, "isn't this your home?" She frowns. "Eh, I never really liked it much. I loved watching TV shows about other neighborhoods when I was a kid, and began visiting them as soon as I could. So there are some things I never bothered to figure out. It's not a big deal, just ignore them."

As she continues talking, you glance at the floor. There is an egg at your feet! You interrupt her excitedly. "I can see an egg! Right there!" She gives you an impatient look. "Yeah great, anyway, what I was saying-" you don't hear the rest, being too excited about this development. Motioning to someone nearby, you point at the egg. They frown at first, confused, then smile happily and nod. "Yes yes, good job, you are learning."

You turn back to the girl, but she doesn't look happy. "You're weird," she says, "I thought you were more like the guys I met in other neighborhoods. They weren't obsessed with egg-spotting, they just liked to have a good time." You are confused. "Isn't it good for me to learn how things work here?" She is digging through her purse for her phone. "Yeah I guess so. Hey I have another friend from different neighborhood who just got here, so I'm going to say hi to them. Maybe I'll introduce you guys later." She holds out her hand, taking back her handkerchief (which you notice is tattered and in poor condition), and waves as she turns and walks away.

You are a little sad to see her go, but at the same time get the inexplicable feeling you might have avoided a bad situation. Looking around, you see that in front of you is a large, open space of floor. One or two eggs are visible to your newly sharpened vision, but you suspect there are many more. You realize that despite her friendliness, the time you spent talking to that girl didn't help you learn how to see the eggs at all.

Suddenly you notice there is something sticking to your hand. Several threads of her handkerchief seem to have come unraveled while you were holding it. Without thinking too much, you thrust them into your pocket and begin the slow task of making your way across the open floor to a table with even more delicious-looking snacks further on.

You tread very carefully, ready to pause at the slightest feeling of something under your foot. Just then a stranger, seeming to have already had too much to drink, stumbles into you, muttering something insulting about stupid guests not even knowing how to walk correctly. You stagger back several steps, crushing three or four eggs in the process. "Why don't you watch where you're going?" you say angrily, trying to help him to his feet. There is an audible gasp from a couple of bystanders, and everyone averts their eyes.

The host is suddenly there, looking serious. He too ignores the drunken man, who trots away unsteadily breaking an egg or two himself, though no one seems to notice, and lays a friendly hand on your shoulder. "We are so glad you were able to visit us," he says, with a smile that is not entirely convincing, "but maybe you are growing tired? We don't want you to feel obligated to stay if you would like to rest." You are sure he is annoyed and wants you to leave, but you are angry too. It's not your fault there are so many eggs but no one wants to talk about them, not your fault someone had too much to drink, not your fault there are no napkins anywhere. This whole complicated situation could be resolved if someone would just clearly mark the eggs or at least set a stack of napkins out somewhere.

Summoning all your patience and courtesy, you thank him, but assure him that you are not tired yet, and would love to try some of the other delicious-looking snacks before you leave. He looks much less annoyed after you say this, and repeats your words for others to hear. "I am so glad you are not tired, and you are welcome to try any refreshments you like, although we apologize that they must look and taste terrible compared to what you are used to." You shake your head. "No no, they really are delicious."

He pats your shoulder again. "Don't be so polite! Here, let me help you, there might be something on your shoe." Your anger is cooling now, and you feel terrible that the host himself is now having to clean the raw egg off your shoes. "Please, let me," you say, trying to take the handkerchief from him, "I am embarrassed for you to do it." He refuses, and you repeat the offer twice. To your surprise, he then immediately relents, seemingly very relieved for not having to do it. "Alright, although I admit that it is we who are embarrassed by our floor having so many eggs in these modern times. No doubt it is very difficult for someone who comes from a high-class neighborhood with no eggs."

You blink. "What, no eggs? That's not true at all, we have eggs on our floors like you. But we mark them so people can avoid them. Well, most of them." It suddenly occurs to you that not every single egg was marked in your old neighborhood either. But those were the obvious ones, right? The host shrugs. "We always thought our guests must have no eggs, otherwise why step on them here? But it's not important, please, enjoy the rest of your time! Forgive me, but I must visit the sink. You know..." He nods at the egg-covered handkerchief. You carefully hand him back his handkerchief, feeling bad that he must now go wash it. As he leaves, you realize several threads from his handkerchief are stuck to your hand, just like before. You put these in your pocket as well, wondering why the handkerchiefs in this neighborhood seem to lose threads so easily.

You manage to make it to the next table without stepping on any more eggs, to your great relief. There are more people around this table than the earlier ones, and the snacks really are incredibly delicious, though even more unusual and unlike anything you had in your old neighborhood. Eating them there, you wonder if you even would have enjoyed them, if you hadn't had the chance to try some of the other snacks here first. You step on a few more eggs, but the guests are always graciously willing to lend you their handkerchiefs. Like the others, their handkerchiefs are always losing threads in your hand, though they are noticeably in good condition and not threadbare at all. You notice there are several different colors and shades, but nearly all of them have strips or patches that match those that other people are carrying. Strangely, the people back near the door have the most colorful ones, but looking ahead, at the innermost table with the craziest looking snacks, nearly solid-colored handkerchiefs are more common.

Looking back towards the door, you see the girl from before, talking to another guest who looks like he's from a couple neighborhoods beyond yours. He has so much egg on his shoes you can't tell what color they originally were. He points at them and they both laugh, and then she steps in close to hug him, getting egg all over her own shoes in the process. Strange, does she not care? And why doesn't she tell him about the handkerchiefs?

Thinking about this, you don't watch your feet, and step on another egg. This time you reflexively reach into your pocket, forgetting you didn't bring any napkins, and feel something small and soft. Pulling it out, you see that all the threads from handkerchiefs you've borrowed that kept sticking to your hand and ended up in your pocket have twisted around each other and started meshing together; it's starting to look like a really ragged version of one of the handkerchiefs the people here carry.

Stooping down, you begin to clean the egg white off your shoe with the loose web of threads. It's messy and the egg gets all over your fingers, but it's something.

Suddenly, you realize that you know what to do. At this rate, learning to spot the eggs is going to take a long time. But in the mean time, you're going to be borrowing a lot of handkerchiefs...